Friday, March 25, 2011

making friends...?

Just one more night of sleeping by my lonesome...

J's been gone since Tuesday morning, and I've had a hard time sleeping (again). What gives?! (Why yes, I did mean to sound like an 80's sitcom.)

I think I just get nervous because we live in a weird neighborhood. There's a creepy guy who once walked up to me after I parked the car and told me he could see into our apartment. Not to mention that we live around the corner of a soup kitchen, and there are quite a few regulars who hang out around here. Normally, it's not a big deal, but when J's gone, I always a little more on edge and extra aware of my surroundings.

[Justine, I don't know how you live in Chicago. I don't think I could handle myself there. You're brave and I admire that!]

Speaking of strange-ish neighborhoods... I've been thinking a lot lately about the kind of city and neighborhood I want to move to next. When J and I visited San Antonio, Austin, and Dallas, I honestly loved San Antonio and Dallas (Austin was too much of a college town), but I felt like I couldn't quite go live in either yet. They both seem like great places to settle down in once you have kids. Since that's not in the cards for another couple of years, I don't really want to stick myself in a place where people have very different priorities. Which, come to think of it, may be why I want to move out of Madison.

Madison is a great town. If I live anywhere in the Midwest, it'll be Madison. But, in my mind, it has always been a) J's town, and b) a college town. Since J started school here a year before I graduated high school, I first experienced it through him, and therefore saw a lot of it through his eyes only. And sad as it sounds, I don't think I ever got away from that. It was always his party that I crashed... I never made it my own. And I think I'm finally able to admit that I want more. I want a place that we're both new to, so we can make our own memories, and experience it individually.

As for the college town aspect... I don't really want to live downtown forever, since it's overrun with college kids most of the year. Yet I really don't want to live in the suburbs. (That would really make me feel old!)
I don't know... it seems like we're in limbo, and there's not really a good way of going about the search for something new. All sorts of reports come out each year about the best places for singles, or the best places for families. What about the pre-kids, post-marriage crowd? I want to live in a place where no-one's badgering us about when we're gonna have kids, but don't avoid us because we're a married couple. We like to have fun!!

Maybe I'm looking at this wrong. Maybe there's such a crowd in any city... we just have to find them. But how? Post an ad on craigslist? "Fun couple looking to double-date"?! That invokes images of a forty-something couple looking to play bridge. Ha! Maybe I should stay away from craigslist for the time being...

Also not helping this: I'm socially awkward. I have a hard time putting myself out there. (Once I'm your friend, I'm there for you, thick and thin... but the starting process is not my strength.) How do people make friends when they're not in school? Work would make sense... except for the fact that I work with kids. Don't think that double-date's gonna come from here. Where else? Surely work and school are not the only places to meet people...



  1. Solution- Down town Dallas, there aren't many college kids- just a bunch of young urban professionals :)

  2. 1. Thanks for the shout out. I sometimes wonder how I live here too...but I must have just gotten used to it :)
    2. I can relate to what you said about Madison being J's town as he was there first. I felt similar when I graduated and was thinking of my next step. I just didn't fit in Madison anymore...I don't think it was ever "mine"...hence the move to Chicago where it was ALLL MIINE :)
    3. Making friends post-college is extremely hard. Luckily, I had grad school as my backup! But for me to make friends other than school friends is difficult. Do I just walk up to someone and talk to them? If you think making friends is hard, try finding a boyfriend (or don't since you're married lol) but you get my point.

    Oh the struggles of growing up. Good luck!