Wednesday, March 30, 2011

just what i needed to read

Earlier tonight I was feeling rather grumpy and grouchy, mostly because we have been invited to a kid's event, and thus far, the save-the-date and invitations alone have likely surpassed in budget what our entire wedding cost. Now, normally things such as this don't get to me (I was quite proud that my wedding cost about a 5th of what most weddings cost), but I think I mostly felt embarrassed that they had been to our wedding, and wondered what they could possibly have thought?! There was nothing particularly fancy, and while I had a wonderful, wonderful night with friends and family, I was questioning our decision to have such a low-key, low-cost event.

And then, in my nightly quest for reading all about other people's lives on blogger, I found this passage by C. Jane:
"If our weddings are the best day then what is there to look forward to?
The more you are married, the more you love your spouse (hopefully) so your wedding should actually be the LEAST best day of your life. It is a wonderful day because you make serious covenants with your spouse and the Lord and that is just the beginning right?
To expect the culminating experience of your relationship on your wedding day is a very nonsensical thing anyway. Or anything for that matter. What if you never do marry? Never have children? (And if you do have children, is the birth of child number 1 better than child number 2?) Never have the house with the wrap around porch?
So, I guess I am sad at weddings because I think, they should be quiet things. Small beginnings.
Maybe starting with a bang isn't always the best idea.
I'd rather celebrate in twenty years when they survive their first home remodeling.
Or in thirty-five years when they are empty nesters.
Or in one month when they survive their first marital spat.
Or the morning, when they roll over, and look at their sleeping spouse, and realize how very lucky they are.
Those are the best days of all."

And I remembered. That my wedding was only one day with the person I love, and far from the best one ever. (Though it certainly made my top ten!) And we didn't have to spend the celebration worried about money. We both felt strongly about not starting our "official" life together by going into unnecessary debt.

More than that, the day of our wedding, I was struck by how many people helped us and supported us. My family acted in a civil manner, people seemed happy that we were getting married, and our friends rallied with us in the biggest way possible. Looking back, I feel blessed that we got a chance to spend so much time with the people we love (and who love us) both before and at the wedding. 

So no. I will not feel badly about how much money we (didn't) spend on our wedding. We had a wonderful night, and we able to enjoy the thing that mattered the most... having friends and family celebrate our love with us. 

1 comment:

  1. Your wedding was one of my most favorite weddings ever--it was so fun helping to prepare everything and being a part of a fun, but nonstressful, amazing event :) And you and Jason looked amazingly happy. It was beautiful, elegant, and all around perfect.